First time seeing my biological family

My first airplane experience

   Here's me, traveled to the city of smiles Bacolod, Philippines. My hometown where my family lives. In the photo above, I still manage to smile but deep inside it was not the way it seems. There's this feeling of excitement but also the feeling for agony and sorrow because my brother passed away. :(

   Yes sadly, that's why i'm going. I can't explain the feeling, it's happy to see your biological family for the first time but at the back of your mind you're lamenting for your family's loss. There's this questions in my head, "God, why did you allow this to happen?" God answered me, "There's reason behind everything. Just trust me in this situation. I am in control, my daughter. I will never leave you." Though fear and doubt creeps in still God lifted me up.

   Arriving to Silay Airport, first time seeing my sister and my other brother brings me so much joy, to feel you're belong to a family that you're wanting to know. But when we came to the funeral home where my mother waits for us, the feeling of sadness creeps into my heart when I saw my older brother in that situation.


     

First time seeing my brother :(

At the funeral home. First time seeing my mother and other relatives as well as my brother's friends.

 

   That moment take me to a different kind of world. The irony of life, still tons of questions continues to bugs me off but some realizations found me that "There's a time for everything" and the feeling when you're on the people you were meant to be, your true family. A different kind of feeling when you feel you're truly accepted no matter what. I'm not saying that I don't feel that way in my present family. All i'm saying is that, when you're with the person you're meant to, there's this glancing of the heart knowing that you found what you're searching for. (Before I found them, God had already satisfied my heart. He has filled me with love and contentment that I've never found in them. But now that I found my true family, God really never fail to amazed me. At this moment, I have nothing to ask for.) 

 

My brother( in white ) and my cousins

My relatives

 There's this feeling of joy when I saw how many my relatives are. So fun to be with them, talked with them. Cherished those times with the people I love. And there's this point of saying goodbye to my dearest brother.

The last time I saw my brother

 
 For Kuya Sylvester,

     Wherever you are, I know you're happy right now. You're in God's hands. Everytime I think of you, I'm missing you in everyday of my life. Seeing how many friends you have who cares and loves you are signs that you are truly a kind, extraordinary,smart and loving person. How you love your family more than you love yourself. Your sacrifices makes me want to know you more. How your passion for books drives you crazy. Regretting why I don't witness all of those things. I'm proud to have you as my kuya, even though you're gone now I know someday we'll meet again. You're one of my inspirations, you make my dreams come true by making me known the truth that i'm searching for. Thank you kuya for everything. You are treasured in our hearts forever. I love you. I will take care of mama, ate and kuya jep.

                                                                                            Loving you forever,  

      Rajj

 

 Ate BB, Mama, Me and Kuya Jep

   I know Kuya is happy seeing us right now. Now that I'm in Manila, i'm missing my family a lot. But I know, we'll meet again someday.

   When we don't understand what God is doing, put your trust only to him. Because He knows what He's doing, he knows your every need.

 "There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning." Prov. 30:5b

 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28

     God bless you,

Rajj

Outside the window

Meet my Buddies

Harold is the extrovert type. He loves playing and cuddling with us. Everyone likes him cause He never barks even on our guest. He likes people, seriously. Our neighbors can touch him whenever they want. He's fun to be with. I play with him almost everyday. His cuteness really wants me to cuddle him all the time.

                  Snob is different unlike Harold. He's the introvert type. His gestures mostly speak of wanting to be alone. He seldom play with us nor Harold but He's the most protective of all. Whenever there's new in our house, He really barks. Yet, his charm really wants me to cuddle him. His patience on waiting for the food is what i adore. Unlike Harold, whenever there's food on the table He barks and go wild.

          There's so many differences between these two but I love them so much. They're my bestfriends, my playmates and my family. They're adorable and they bring happiness inside our house. Btw, Harold is one of Snob's son. So yeah, they're relatives but i wonder if they both knew nor feel it. Haha. Coz they're so very different from each other. 

Making Grace my way of Life

Let’s talk about GRACE, God’s grace.

We Christians know what grace really is but do we fully understand it? The way it works? How it affects us?

It’s just a week ago, the Lord impressed me what grace really is. Is it just God’s favors alone? or either blessings?  If that’s what you called grace, you lack something.

Grace is the hope for shattered dreams. It is the light in the middle of the wilderness. It is the peace in the middle of the war. It is the point where the undeserving meets forgiveness. It is the God that died for the sins of many. It is the refuge of the broken hearts. It is the place where we meet joy and happiness. It is God’s grace that saves! 

I really don’t understand why Christians are so down, heavily burdened by problems and experiencing depression. But actually they have a God that controls everything. Instead of resting in the presence of God, they choose to be busy until they are burnt-out! Sometimes, we experience heaviness because we don’t focus on God. We focus on people, circumstances and problems that can make us suffer. Why don’t we put our attention to the God that can save. Why don’t we remember how He overcome the world by dying on the cross for our sin? Why don’t we focus on the Lord’s goodness that forgives us in our most undeserving moments.

Make God’s grace your way of life. You will never missed a thing! 

Better left Unsaid

Right now, I’m listening to the songs that reminds me of you.

Of us, the memories we have shared for years. 

That summer where it all began, when opposite sparks collide.
I try and try to let you go
And try to test fate if we’re going to be together
But still, chances and answers are uncertain
Only time can tell

I dont know if im just bored, alone or lonely
I just want to be with you so badly
In this place and this time
You’re the only human that can satisfy my need
My heart’s desire, my perfect match

Though we’re so different from each other, that difference work together
For us to stay in this moment
Hang on my love
for at the right time, we’ll just vanish
Into the dreams of our longing hearts
and that time, we can see the fruit
Fruit of our patience
And i will proudly say, that we have
That story, story of true love
That will last for a lifetime

Own Watermark

Finally, my photography watermark was created! Yay! Thanks to my brother who have designed  this. Fresh way to start photography. 

Worship with the Kutless Band

My friend Rona invited me to see the Kutless band on Cathedral of Praise at Taft,Manila. The church was full-packed! Awesome things will going to happen! I believe!

Then, the worship time began. Can't wait to experience God's presence Whooooo! Truly, God is working.

They sang their own music including 'What Faith can do' and their latest song 'You alone' from their latest album. Check it out guys! 

These lovely people were so bold to glorify God by giving him praise through singing and playing Instruments. Truly, all of God's children were called to Worship Jesus in everything we do. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

Of course, not only the band but the people worship God through the music! What a privilege to be with God's presence with this wonderful band. Unforgettable experience!

Glory to God!